Parfum de Convoitise
by AndAllThatGoodStuff
Summary: Brittany finds some perfume at the mall. Who knew that a tiny bottle of scented liquid could cause so much trouble.


**Parfum de Convoitise**

Eleanor and Jeanette sighed in exhaustion. "Britt, can we go?" Eleanor whined.

Brittany rolled her eyes at the two and stopped at a perfume cart. "Yeah," Jeanette agreed in the same tone. "I need to go home and start my homework."

"And Alvin and I are supposed to be working on our Home Economics. Projects today." Eleanor added.

Brittany sighed and put down the perfume sample she was studying. "Okay, we'll go home after I find some perfume for my date with Simon." She explained.

Eleanor and Jeanette groaned. "You have dozens of perfumes at home. Why don't you just wear one of those?" Jeanette asked.

"Simon has smelled all of those." Brittany continued to sniff the bottles. "I want to wear something different this time; something that will drive him crazy."

"Why don't you just talk to him all night? That should do it." Eleanor grumbled under her breath. Brittany glared at her. "I'm sorry. I get grumpy when I'm hungry." She rubbed her stomach with a pout.

Brittany picked up another bottle. "Parfum de Convoitise…" She read the label. "What does that mean?"

"It means 'Scent of Lust.'" Eleanor spoke. Jeanette and Brittany stared at her and she simply shrugged. "Alvin taught me…"

Brittany shook off the urge to ask when that phrase would pop up in a conversation. She squirted some onto her wrist and inhaled the scent. "This is perfect." She smiled to herself. "How much…?" She asked the owner of the cart.

The woman that seemed to be of middle age smiled at her. "You're in luck; we're having a sale this week. It's only twenty-five."

"Isn't that a little pricy for a bottle of perfume?" Brittany asked skeptically as she dug through her purse for her wallet.

"This isn't _just _a bottle of perfume." The woman grabbed it. "It's a special perfume that…"

"Just sell her the perfume!" Eleanor exclaimed clutching her growling tummy while Jeanette nodded, just as annoyed.

The woman sighed and grabbed Brittany's money in exchange for the perfume. "Fine but be warned…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… keep out of reach of children; keep out of eyes… blah, blah, blah." Brittany interrupted, stuffing the perfume into her bag and rushing off with her sisters.

The woman laughed at the three as she watched them hurriedly leave the mall. "They'll find out soon enough." She mumbled and began rearranging her inventory.

* * *

"Britt, Simon is here." Jeanette called upstairs. Brittany quickly double checked her hair and make-up before spraying a mist of perfume into the air and walking through it. She applied a dab to each of her pressure points and ran downstairs. "Hey, Si," She smiled and jumped into his arms.

Simon chuckled and hugged her back. "Are you ready to go?"

"Always," She giggled walking passed him and to his car. Simon followed and opened the door for her and then climbed into his side. "So," Brittany spoke after minutes of driving. "What are the plans for tonight?"

Simon smirked. "Well, I planned on taking you to dinner." He said. Brittany watched as he pulled over and parked his car. "But I'd much rather do this." He leaned over and pecked her lips before moving in for another kiss.

Brittany smirked and pulled back. "Are you feeling okay?" She chuckled.

Simon continued to smirk and pulled her into another hot blooded kiss. He slowly pulled her on his lap as he trailed kisses down her neck, giving the nook a little extra attention. At this point Brittany wasn't sure how far this was going to go, but she was willing to go as far as Simon took her.

***

"I wonder how Brittany's date is going." Eleanor thought aloud as she plopped onto the couch with a bowl of popcorn.

Jeanette laughed and grabbed a handful. "Probably the same as all the others…" She said. "Brittany is all over Simon and is fighting her off with a stick." The two laughed at the thought but were soon interrupted by Brittany walking through the door.

"This perfume is _magic_." Brittany smiled as she sat next to her sisters.

They both gave her confused looks. "What?" Eleanor finally asked.

"The perfume I bought!" Brittany turned and pulled the bottle out of her purse. "It had to be why Simon did what he did."

"What did he do?" Jeanette asked with slight concern in her voice.

Brittany smiled. "Me," She giggled.

* * *

"Netta, let's be real." Brittany rolled her eyes the morning after.

Jeanette sighed. "I refuse to believe that a little glass bottle of scented liquid was the cause of Simon jumping you last night." She shook her head as the three of them continued making their lunches for the day.

"Fine, let's do a... what are those things you and Simon are always babbling about?"

Jeanette chuckled lightly. "…An experiment?"

"Yeah," Brittany smiled and pulled the bottle of perfume out of her purse. "Ellie will where the perfume today." Eleanor's head shot up from the sandwich she was making. "You have Eleanor and Alvin's classes for the first half of the day, and I have them for the second half."

Jeanette smiled as she began to understand the plan. "Okay, she won't wear it for half of the day and I'll observe Alvin's behavior."

"Then after lunch she'll put on the perfume and I'll observe Alvin's behavior after that." Brittany smiled also.

Eleanor's eyes darted from the two of them. "Doesn't anyone care what I have to say about this?"

Brittany rolled her eyes. "Eleanor, it's just a harmless experiment." She soothed. "And if you truly think the perfume doesn't work…"

"…And it doesn't." Jeanette interjected.

"…Then you have nothing to worry about." Brittany continued, ignoring Jeanette's side comment.

Eleanor sighed and nodded in agreement.

***

"So, what's your data so far?" Brittany asked at lunch that day.

Jeanette pulled a notepad that she had been scribbling in all morning out of her bag. "His sexual behavior is no more different than usual." She commented. "He kissed her hello, and held her hand between classes."

Brittany nodded. Her eyes widened at the sight of Alvin in the back of the cafeteria. "Here he comes." She reached over and grabbed the perfume. She quickly sprayed Eleanor and hid it before Alvin could see.

"Hey, Eleanor…" Alvin greeted walking over to her and leaning on the table. Eleanor bit her lip anxiously. "I wanted to talk to about our Home Ec. Projects." Brittany and Jeanette watched intently as Alvin took in a deep breath. His eyes went dark with lust and his infamous smirk tugged at his lips. "Instead of staying after school to work on them, why don't you just come over after school?" He suggested reaching his hand up to sensually caress hers.

"Mmhm," Brittany smiled triumphantly, pulling out her own pad and pen to scribble down notes.

***

"I don't believe it." Jeanette shook her head in disbelief.

Brittany smiled and flipped open her notepad. "Read it and weep, sister." Jeanette leaned over to read along with Brittany. "He couldn't keep his hands off her during lunch and he would sneak heavy make out sessions between classes."

Jeanette shook her head again. "This is unbelievable." She took Brittany's notebook and read over the notes repeatedly.

"Take that Miss Skeptic!" Brittany began doing a victory dance.

Jeanette rolled her eyes. "No-- no way. I refuse to believe it." She stubbornly closed the notepad.

Brittany stopped and glared at her. "Fine," She looked up and thought. "You have a date with Theodore tonight, don't you?" A small smile spread across her face.

Jeanette eyed her suspiciously. "Yeah… why?" Acting quickly, Brittany pulled out the bottle and sprayed it on Jeanette. She squealed in surprise and began fanning the air. "Brittany!"

Brittany smiled smugly and put the perfume away. "What?" She giggled. "This is the perfect way to test the perfume. Theodore is probably the most self-controlled guy in this school. If he jumps you, then the perfume is magic!" Jeanette glared and continued to fan the area. "But since you're so deadest on disagreeing with me, you have nothing to worry about." She smirked as she caught sight of Theodore coming down the hall with Simon. She grinned and sprayed herself with a fresh mist of the perfume. "Hi, Si," She giggled flirtatiously.

Jeanette rolled her eyes. "Brittany seems to be acting weirder than usual." Theodore commented.

"Uh, yeah," Jeanette nervously placed a lock of her hair behind her ear. "She has this crazy idea that her perfume is magic."

Theodore chuckled. "That's crazy," Jeanette nodded in agreement. They stood in silence for a few moments before being pulled out of their silence by the sounds of their siblings making out. They turned their heads in the other direction only to see Alvin and Eleanor making out down the hall. Theodore shifted his eyes and laughed. "Do you want to get out of here?" He asked.

Jeanette laughed and nodded. As she made her way past, Theodore caught a whiff of the perfume and smirked.

***

Brittany and Eleanor sighed as they finally got into their home in one peace. "It's like Alvin was trying to suck off my whole face." Eleanor said collapsing onto the couch.

"I know," Brittany did the same. She reached up and messaged her face. "I can't feel my lips." She said patting her lips in alarm.

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "If you couldn't feel your lips, you wouldn't be able to talk, genius." She groaned and stood. "I don't think I'll want to kiss Alvin for another six months." She twisted her face as she caught a fresh trace of the perfume on her. "I'm going to go wash the scent of this perfume off me."

Brittany sighed and continued to message her face. She jumped at the sound of the front door opening and shutting. "You were right; I was wrong. Now get this perfume off me!" Jeanette exclaimed shaking her sister.

Brittany shifted her eyes. "What are you talking about?" She moved Jeanette's hands. "Don't you like Theodore?"

Jeanette sighed. "Of course, but not when he's all over me like that." She sat back into the couch.

Brittany nodded. "Well, Ellie's in the shower right now, and but you're welcome to use Miss Miller's while I try to get the feeling back in my face." She stood and walked up the stairs.

***

"I think I can feel my left cheek." Brittany smiled and bit as she continually poked her face.

"Brittany!"

Brittany turned and saw her two little sisters running into her room with panic looks on their faces. "What's going on?" She asked continuing to poke her cheek.

Brittany wasn't looking but she could tell they were rolling their eyes. "The perfume smell _won't _come off." Jeanette said.

Now she panicked. "What?!" She exclaimed, rising to her feet.

"No matter what we do the smell won't come off." Eleanor continued.

Brittany took in a breath. Okay, uh, don't panic."

"Too late!"

Brittany groaned. "Everything is going to be _fine_." She told her sisters calmly. She turned them towards her door and began pushing them out of it. "Tomorrow, after school, we'll go back to the perfume lady and find out how to get the smell out." Eleanor and Jeanette still looked worried but nodded. "Don't worry," Brittany smiled. She turned to shut her door. "Good night!" She said to them as her door clicked shut.

She sighed as she heard her sisters utter faint good nights and their doors shut also. Brittany took in another deep breath.

"Aahhh!"

* * *

The school day went by slowly. Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor spent most of the day ducking their boyfriends. In the cafeteria, the classrooms, and especially after school. They were everywhere!

They finally managed to lose them and make it to the mall before it closed. With the help of Jeanette's semi-photographic memory, they were able to track down the perfume stand where Brittany bought (what Jeanette calls) the evil vile.

"Hey!" Brittany yelled as she and her sisters caught their breaths. "That perfume I bought from you… it won't come off." She explained.

The woman eyed her. "Hm, interesting…"

Brittany stared at her like she was crazy. Before she could pounce, Jeanette cut in. "You must know how to get it off." She practically pleaded.

"Indeed, I do." She said. "But when I tried to warn you of the consequences of the perfume, you didn't want to listen."

Jeanette opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by her baby sister jumping over the counter and grabbing the woman by her shirt, yelling indistinct things at her. Brittany and Jeanette immediately pried Eleanor off of her and pushed her behind them. "Look, we're sorry for not listening yesterday, but _please _tell us how to get rid off the smell."

The woman eyed them a bit longer. "Okay," The Chipettes inwardly rejoiced. "The perfume is very strong and won't come off with just an ordinary shower gel." Brittany resisted the urge to yell the obvious _We know that! _"The only way to get the smell off is to cover it with a smell much stronger than it. I heard that garbage does the trick."

"Garbage?!"

"And you have to where it for a week."

* * *

Brittany and her sisters sighed as they entered the school. They were immediately left with stares and people were quickly moving out of their way. Not to be polite, but because they wanted to get away from the stench. "Ugh, I'm never going to keep a boyfriend if I have to where garbage for a week." Brittany complained.

They all froze. "Our boyfriends!" The exclaimed.

"Okay, I'd rather have Alvin suck my lips off than have him smell me when I'm covered in garbage." Eleanor looked around nervously.

Jeanette sighed. "Speak of the devils."

They all groaned when they saw their boyfriends approaching. "Hey…whoa!" All three took a step back and pinched their noses.

"Um, new look, Britt?" Simon's nasally voice came through his covered mouth.

Brittany shifted her eyes. "Yeah, it's all the rage in Paris." She laughed.

The boys laughed nervously and took another small step back. "Look, we'd understand if you guys didn't want to walk us to class today… or ever again." Eleanor sighed.

"Oh, no… no." Theodore waved his free hand.

"We can still walk you guys to class." Alvin said. All three girls smiled. "But you guys can have like a five second head start, and we'll follow."

They rolled their eyes and did as instructed. Just as the boys said, five second late they were right behind them. "Well, at least we know they love us." Brittany smiled at her sisters.

Eleanor and Jeanette glared at her optimism. "Brittany," Jeanette called.

"Hm?" She bit her lip, preparing for the worst.

They continued to glare at her as they let out a simultaneous, "Shut up!"

* * *

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